Love is the key- this is acknowledged by one and all. If we have love in our lives we will be happy. Yet, what contributes to making us happy is something each perceives differently. Maybe that is why ‘love’, ‘being in love’, being loved’, have so many hues.
For people in penury, money plays a dominant role and is the answer for everything. Money is happiness and will bring love. For an ailing person, health is happiness. For some other person, a life without conflicts is happiness.
None of the above are eternal or lasting states, and all are happiness myths. Love also becomes ephemeral when we make happiness its anchor. There is nothing like lasting good health, enough money or a life never without a conflict. These are unrealistic utopian states.
The famous adage, ‘likes repel opposites attract’ is true! We are drawn to people who complement us, can fill in the gaps we see in ourselves. When we are seeking someone who is a different personality, we are also accepting the many conflicts that come with that personality.
Even if we choose to live in solitude in the hope of avoiding conflicts, our head and heart will be in a state of conflict! Paul Pearsall asks, “Would you be married to you?” If you think about it honestly the answer is a big ‘No!’. We are social beings, and we seek people.
Running away from relationships is running away from one problem to fall into another.
Instead of expecting happiness to bring love, I believe the sequence should be in reverse: love first. It will bring you happiness.
One more profound truth shared by Dr.Adizes is, “We choose how to feel. To feel happy or unhappy is a choice we make.” It is a choice! We decide whether to be happy or unhappy. And my feelings are the consequence of my choice.
So, how can we make this conscious decision in our favor, ‘To love and be happy’?
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