Of course, love matters. Everything revolves around this one word and yet, what is this love? We all have our own understanding. I am sharing what Dr.Adizes expresses in his book.
My Master, Parthasarthi Ji, mentioned in one of his talks that, “Love is a muscle. You have to exercise it. You have to make it grow or it atrophies.”
Love is a continuous ongoing exercise, like our sacred marriage vow, ‘till death do us part’. Love with the Self, and loving the other, we build on both every day. As it is not enough to feel love. Love needs to be expressed through actions. I have shared a small post on expressions of love which may be relatable here. (https://www.healingheartfully.com/blog Jan 20, 2023)
Each expresses love differently. Understand and acknowledge that expression, also bearing in mind that your language of love may have a different expression which needs to be acknowledged and understood too! A reciprocation of the exact same expression is very rare and that couple or family which shares the same expression is very fortunate.
Love has its own problems, and threats. As we grow, the expectations from our relationships take a different hue. When we stop working on the relationship, we allow atrophy to creep in. The expressions change, expectations change, a lack of reciprocation and love seems diminished. In such times it is easier to focus on the mutual trust and respect we have for each other. If the trust and respect are intact, honest communication can help rebuild the love.
Thus, the foundations of love are mutual trust and respect. Dr. Adizes suggests, “It is better to have a so-so solution without losing mutual trust and respect than to have a first-class solution reached with mutual disrespect and tarnished trust.”.
Same rule applies to loving the Self too. Focus on respecting and trusting oneself, love will follow.
“The key to solving problems lies in how you solve them, not whether you actually have the right solution.”
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