NVC is a language for life. The few posts explaining the tools do not do justice to what NVC can truly offer. It is life a changing journey which shows us the mirror, encourages us to dig deep into ourselves, explore our true nature and build our self-awareness.
Poet Hafiz writes, “The words you speak become the house you live in.” NVC offers communication with integrity. To reiterate the four tools which help communicate with love and compassion: Observe like a video camera. This helps us keep the doors for further communication open. We avoid hurting the feelings of the other. More importantly, we consciously stay non-judgemental, stay with the facts, and focus on what is happening with us because of the event. Our expression is with the intention for connection. Our physical experiences are our feelings, the second tool of NVC. Feelings because of the other are pseudo feelings. Be cautious and recognise that feelings which points towards the other, blame the other are misleading you. Stay with the feelings which are relevant to you, explore them further and dig deeper to see which needs they are pointing towards. Which need is alive at that moment, as all your observations, feelings are to meet this need. Once we zero in, identify the need, we quickly make our request incorporating the above three tools. Frame your requests carefully as we are the embodiment of the choice of words we use.
The journey starts with knowing oneself, and then takes a step forward and tries to understand the other. The communication is enriching and truly non-violent when we are able express in the now, keeping the intent for connection alive and be curious about what is going on with the other. The result is not to get my way, or always feel obliged to concede to the will of the other. Instead, it is a mutually uplifting agreement to walk the middle path, which is willingly decided upon.
It is a difficult journey, I agree. I want to share a few more related topics to help build our awareness and work with the tools effectively. My next post is on being aware, followed by a little about how our subconscious conditioning tries to overpower our emotions, and why we consciously need to ignore it, focus on the heart, and listen the heart to live a NVC life😊. Hope they are helpful.
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