Mindset and relationships

I am still reading the same book, Mindset by Dr. Carol Dweck, and I am reading the topic which is closest to my heart – Relationships. She talks about how mindsets influence our relationships, and I can once again resonate with her.

Academics is the only focus in most middle-class Indian families. And I rebelled against this mindset with all my heart, and did exactly the opposite of what was asked, or expected of me. Yet, when it was my turn to lean towards the growth mindset for my children, my upbringing prevailed! I forgot that I needed to give my children the freedom and space to make their own choices in life.

This fear and insecurity were so deep-seated, that despite my best interests, I was afraid to see my children take any risks! I wanted them to tread the known path. Though times have changed dynamically my mindset was imprisoned in the past! The traditional path has kept me safe and cushioned. Maybe my self-esteem suffers a little, and I live in self-doubt about almost all my decisions but is that so wrong is what my fixed mindset debates about all the time.

The advantages of adapting to the growth mindset far outweigh the pseudo safety net the fixed mindset offers! And I have finally broken that shell and am experiencing the liberating feeling growth mindset brings. Growth mindset helps me have a better relationship with my children, I can be a part of their lives with their understanding and see the world from their perspective.

It has helped them face challenges with more confidence knowing that they have our support, we are right behind them every step of the way!

Unlike me, they do not fear judgement, they don’t doubt their decisions; make independent informed choices and voice themselves with freedom and confidence.

I never tried to ruffle any feathers, experimented with nothing new. It is the opposite with the growth mindset! We need to keep creating ripples, ruffle some feathers, as there is no other way to explore and face the world which is ever changing.  

Such a difference this change in mindset has made to my life!