Relationships: Influencers in the life of a child

I will be talking about many simple but profoundly impactful things; things we forget to pay attention to in our daily life. Since my core experience is in relationships specialising in children and parenting, I will start with a small post with an illustration highlighting the influencers in the life of a child and the role they play.

The child is the seed (or the core). The parents are the gardeners, the main nurturers on whom the healthy life of this child will depend. A seed is a part of the garden, the soil; similarly, a child rarely grows in an isolated environment, and thus the remaining family members are the soil, as shown above. The next most important role is played by the teachers (pre-school) and friends which make up the sunlight and water for the seed, two ingredients without which the nurturing gardeners may fail to make a meaningful impact. The last two: Culture and Environment play a silent, yet impactful role once the child becomes a teenager and is ready to step into the world.

The tiny point we (gardeners) miss is the true and everlasting impact we have in the life of this seed, from seed to sapling to a fruit bearing tree. We think we have to nurture the seed only till it grows a little big and is able to weather the rages of Nature and survive. But, think again; is it true? Do our children (taking a closer look at the influencers shown above) need our care and attention only till they reach school? Most parents I meet today have the expectation that the Teachers (Sunlight) will take responsibility and share the burden of raising the child correctly. They are eager to blame the teachers if the child misbehaves or pass the buck on to friends, whichever is easier. But when have sunlight and water been biased or partial? And, just because there is Sunshine and water, does the gardener stop weeding his garden, see that the soil is still safe and good for the seed to grow healthily?

The gardener’s role is continuous, don’t you agree? The tree bears fruit only after the roots are deeply embedded into the soil and are strong enough to sustain on their own. The fully-grown tree also relies on the gardener to remove the weeds and safeguard the fruit from any unforeseen, but ever threatening pests and vermin.